I admit that when it comes to my online persona, I am very outspoken to the point of being obnoxious and at times rude. It's been something that I'm working on but too lazy to actually do. I know it's not right but I just can't help myself; I just have this need of letting other people know about the things I find interesting and frustrating.
Last Thursday, I got the taste of my own medicine and I really don't like this kind of feeling of impending doom. If only I can go back in time and change what happened; If only I slept through my indignation after I saw my sisters FB Story; If only I'm a little bit patient; If only I'm not like me; then I wouldn't be put in this kind of situation where I feel like the whole community is against me. I'm not saying that what I did is wrong because if anything- everything I said is justified, but I could have chosen my battles a little more wisely.
What I can do now is to wait for this to be over. I already made my Facebook and Instagram private, and I deleted any trace of me online because I don't want them to find out about me - although I know they already probably did. I just want to hide and be left alone. I know what I did is not the most evil thing in the world, however, I'm not used to this at all. This is actually my first time to have someone so angry of me because I said something I shouldn't have.
It's not the greatest feeling in the world to have an enemy where they can always rally supporters behind them because they are that famous and powerful. I feel so helpless and scared. I know that this too shall pass but I can't wait for this to be over - for the people who knew about this whole fiasco to forget about the whole thing entirely. While it sounds impossible given the kind of attitudes and toxicity that they have posses - I hope that they will find it in their hearts to forget and not make a big deal out of this - although I know they probably already did.
Hopefully, by writing this down, I can sort out my feelings and find strength to get through this situation, and at the same time, I can improve my writing skills because I noticed that I have been using the same words over and over again.
Now, it will be harder for me to go out without being anxious and paranoid. The desire to live faraway from this town is strong. I just want to be somewhere else, so faraway where nobody knows anything about me. A fresh new start sounds nice.
No comments:
Post a Comment